So fuck you.
Fuck you for making me think I could be stable and happy and start getting what I want for the first time in a good few years. Thats not too much to ask, is it?

Fuck you for making me think I'm being selfish when I just want comfort.

Fuck you for painting this picture of yourself being so innocent when whispers draw you as a demon off the canvas, fuck you for making me so angry I can't even make a turn of phrase like the one I just used into a decent lyric or song.

Fuck you for not being the arms I want to hold me or the mouth I want to kiss me.
Fuck you for changing everything I knew about you and everything that I fell in love with. Fuck you for taking so long about it too, at least shift so fast I don't feel it burn me down day after day.

Fuck you for living your life and showing me how you're living your dreams, succeeding while I'm joining the living dead. And fuck you for your condescending advice, we can't all have the right friends, we can't all have these opportunities.

Fuck you for being happy without me.

I think I miss you so very very much.